Lisa's Blog

I shudder these days when I hear this phrase, "Oh well what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."  In a nutshell the problems I have with it are: It's probably not true, and it's misdirective, it drives you into dangerous ground where your boundaries, health and choices are concerned.  And it is actually really limited thinking.  Imagine the program you have to run to make it true.  And what is the underlying message? "Things that might kill, hurt or stress me may be good for me", "Ignore natural avoidance signals". 

In fact, if you are in stress and fear, you are in protection mode, not growth mode. Fear prevents and limits growth because your energy and resources are directed elsewhere.  Bruce Lipton has some fabulous stuff on this, getting right into the biology and nature, nurture debates.  

And in fact it is not good for you to repeatedly expose yourself to "hardship", it actually lessens your resolve, not strengthens it.  People who have experienced post traumatic stress, acute anxiety or depression always have a greater tendency towards that forever after not increased resilience as this phrase might imply. 

Alternatively positive experiences, or winning will make you stronger.  Check out this video.