The Art of Making Difficult Decisions...Confidently

Decision making...  something we do daily, yet something that has the power to consume us so completely it leaves us paralyzed. 

Everyone at some point in their lives is faced with the challenging task of making a difficult decision, but what are the secrets to owning the decision you make and to making it confidently and being able to live with the consequences and outcome no matter what?

Here are some points to help you make a decision confidently and live with yourself no matter what happens:

1. Check in with your values.  Our values drive our behaviours, our reality, our perspective and our truth.  Check in with yourself.  Write them down if you have to and see what is most important to you and how each decision ties in with your most important values.  Email me if you are stuck on how to find out what is most important to you, and how to define your priorities.  (That may sound absurd but many people, including myself at one point, aren't always actually conscious or "in touch" with what is most important to them).  I have a few resources that could help you with this process.
2. To satisfy the rational and thinking part of your brain do the pros and cons exercise.  Weigh out all the pros and cons for the decision at hand.  I like to make four columns, and look for pros and cons for making the decision either way.  Tally up the pros and cons, then pick one decision and imagine you have made it, "try it on" and see what the outcome FEELS like as you project yourself into the future as if you have already made the decision.  If you have a slight nagging sensation... go back to the drawing board or try on another decision.  Be really honest with yourself. 
3. Trust yourself, use "your gut", your instincts. Check in with what feels right, not just what seems rational or what the world or your peers believe is the "right" decision.  You can only make the best decision you can based on what you feel and know to be true AT THE TIME of the decision.  Use the information you have available to you now.
4. Give yourself permission to "get it wrong", there is no failure only growth and learning.  
5. Choose really carefully who you allow to "give you advice", they don't have to wake up as you or live in your head every day or live with the consequences or live out the decision for you.  Seek counsel only from wise and objective mentors or professionals who you respect and admire, hold similar values to yourself and who can cope if you make  a decision that doesn't heed their advice or is contrary to their opinion, and better still- the best counsel is someone who asks you questions about what decision you would like to make rather than tell you what decision they would make if "they were in your shoes".  Otherwise you can get yourself all confused or feel obliged to make a certain decision, even if you know it doesn't necessarily serve you.  So if part of your processing and information gathering involves asking other people what they think, be prepared to be objective and let some of this information and opinion go. 
6. Sleep on it, meditate on it, pray about it... then MAKE the decision, choose one AND KEEP MOVING!
7. And here is the most important part and the part many people get wrong which ultimately makes any future decision making harder because they are so hard on themselves and put so much weight on "getting the decision right". If your decision seemingly doesn't work out "for the best".  Don't go back with hindsight bias and should all over yourself.  Be gentle on yourself and trust that you made the very best decision you could at the time based on the information you had.  Acknowledge how difficult it was to make the decision and assess what can now be done to move forward confidently.  Do not beat yourself up under any circumstances.  Do allow reflection and growth... but approach that and yourself gently with respect and compassion and be prepared to stand up for yourself.  You made the best decision you could at the time, it's that simple.

That's a start!  With a bit of practice you can get better and better at making decisions you can live with... I have!

Good Luck!